“I put my wife through hell – if we can get through it, what’s your excuse?”
Divorce rates in the US may have hit a 50-year low; but couples every day are throwing in the towel on their marriage.
It’s become easier to give up and walk away than take responsibility for your actions and fight to save your relationship.
But what if there was a better way? One where you could stay committed to your marriage and reignite the fire and passion that has died – no matter how bad things have gotten?
Cass Morrow, founder of the Marriage Reset program, knows better than anyone that real change is possible in any marriage. And it starts with taking responsibility for your behavior.
Looking at them now, Cass and his wife Kathryn have the perfect fairytale marriage. They are crazy in love and living their dreams with three beautiful children.
But things weren’t always like this.
After growing up with narcissistic parents, Cass entered every relationship in his life full of rage and deep insecurity for over 20 years. He picked fights every day because he thought that was normal. When he met his wife, Kathryn, things went from bad to worse.
“Our marriage was abusive in every way. I belittled my wife daily, attacking who she was as a woman, wife, and mother -to the point where she forgot who she was and felt completely invisible. Based on what society teaches us, we should have got divorced a thousand times. Thank God we didn’t.”
Cass’ narcissism, insecurities, and anger led Kathryn to feel lonelier married than she ever did when she was single. No matter what she did, it was never good enough – Cass pushed her away so much that she stopped having a partner at all.
As a result, Kathryn latched onto their children, seeing them as the real loves of her life, and settled for not having a husband at all.
“Kathryn stayed in our marriage because she didn’t want me to be able to influence the kids alone 50% of the time. She was willing to sacrifice her happiness for the sake of our kids. By the time I took responsibility for my behavior and started to treat her with the love and respect she deserved, she had totally checked out. How could any affirmation be real after years of neglect?”
It took time, but through consistency and commitment, Cass was eventually able to take down Kathryn’s wall so they could slowly create a loving, passionate, and equal relationship again.
Because they have experienced the worst struggles a marriage can face and come out the other side, Cass and Kathryn are on a mission to challenge the idea that we need to settle, coast, or divorce when relationships get tough. They work individually with couples – Cass with men, and Kathryn with women – to help those who want to work through their issues instead of just checking out or walking away.
“Society’s default position is to quit, which means nobody ever has to take responsibility for what they’ve done. Take me for example – narcissists are told they can never change. If there is no hope or support, how can anyone ever do better? We get stuck in a cycle of contempt and won’t do anything to change it.”
So, how can you get that loving relationship back instead of quitting? It starts with taking responsibility for your actions and being willing to invest in you – time and energy developing skills – to learn how to truly communicate and put your marriage first.
“Any walls you have between you need to come down before you even think about stopping fighting. It’s the only way to communicate with intimacy. Get out of the pattern of having conversations full of deflection and blame – be open instead and ready to own what you’ve done in the past. A lot of my clients come to me for their kids – they want to set a better example. But if you put your relationship first, the impact on your whole family will be life changing.”
The transformational coaching that Cass and Kathryn provide for their clients has helped save marriages, keep families together, and create equal, loving, and respectful partnerships all around the world. Through the work they do, they are becoming the best versions of themselves for each other, and their relationship thrives more and more every day.
“The thing we are proudest of is that our kids have never seen any of the devastation that used to rule our marriage. It still takes work, but we show up every day as a superpower couple, which in turn makes us the best parents we can be. And we’re ready to do the same thing for you.”
You can find out more about Cass and Kathryn’s work on